Coffee & Honeycomb

I love to create.

I love it, I love it. 

Whether it be in the form of scrapbooking, writing, crafting, cooking, making home movies, taking photos (or Instagramming them), whatever! There is an indescribable joy that fills my BONES throughout the process. Do you feel me?

I don't think that says something significant about me, though, I think it says something about Him! When I turn to scripture, I see that God's first role recorded was as a creator. 

"In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth." Genesis 1:1

Since I am made in His image, I believe my desire to create is a reflection of who He is. When I think about that, I want to create all the more. (: Creating feels purposeful. I bet you, too, have a passion that was so intricately and intentionally planted in your heart as a gift from our God. I bet you, too, reflect a glimpse of Him each time you unfold it. Allow yourself to unfold it.

I love to surround myself around those who are passionate about the work they do, because it takes courage and dedication—it's also contagious. It's inspiring and moving and beautiful to see people do the work they love. It's like that's what they were made to do, and it gives me the courage to keep pursuing the things I feel like I was made to do, too. 

Can you believe that our God created each of us with such unique talents, gifts, and interests? He is definitely a creative one. 

Do you know your passion? I hope you do, and if you don't, I hope you discover it one day real soon. When you do, I hope you have the boldness to unleash it, hone it, and share it with the world. This world needs to see your passion.

Welcome to the first of "31 DAYS OF BELOVEDNESS." 
(I talked about it a bit here.) 

There are just some things, or more specifically, truths, I want more of in my life. Things I want to learn, understand, soak, and this month it's about our belovedness. I'm not here to educate or preach, I'm here to walk and wrestle and chew — and I invite you into the process.

This is day one.

I wanted to start the series just by acknowledging who we are, children of God, and praising the only one who can give us that identity. 

The song is "TIl I see you" by Hillsong. An involuntary groan comes out when I listen to these lyrics. It is the current echo of my heart:

Hope you enjoy! Find more designs here. 

Lately, I feel the Lord pressing the idea of community onto my heart. Stories of strong friendship, powerful conversations, shoulders rubbing, and moments of breaking bread linger with me throughout an entire day. I find myself asking and wondering more and more what a good community is supposed to look like... I imagine that community to be a living room or a coffee shop, a space that feels so safe and accepting that hands held over hearts are removed and left to breathe and bleed all over the coffee table. A space where the brothers/sisters can feel known, loved, and accepted. Am I in one? Does my presence help cultivate one?

With school starting up again, I am in a new season of my life and with each passing day, we leave transition mode and enter daily routine. It is my final year on campus and that thought brings out a sense of anxiety and urgency in me. It reminds me how quickly time flies and that time is never in my control. Knowing that, as I plan for the day, the month, the semester, I want to live with intention and gratitude. And as I pray for this upcoming semester, I ask God the same question day after day: what does faithfulness look like for me in this season right now? Who am I called to love and what will that love look like? How can I be a better steward? And knowing that I am effective as much as I soak in Your presence and your love, how can I claim your promises and truths today? 

I guess all I'm asking is what role will I play and where will He lay his hand in my life in this season...

But the word that just LINGERS in my heart and my prayer is community. This notion of friendship and intimacy... It all sounds so risky. Besides, I've never been good at maintaining friendships. I'm good at leaving and protecting and hiding, but I was never too good at being present. A pastor once said, "we don't love because it's comfortable for us, but we love so that others may know the comfort of knowing Jesus." 

I'm reading Job right now and if you are unfamiliar with the book, it is about this great, God-fearing man who is tested and stripped of all his earthly possessions to see if he still says faithful to God. At this point, his friends come to pay a visit...

Now when Job's three friends heard of all this evil that had come upon him, they came each from his own place, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite. They made an appointment together to come to show him sympathy and comfort him. And when they saw him from a distance, they did not recognize him. And they raised their voices and wept, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads toward the heaven. And they sat with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw his suffering was very great." — JOB 2:1-13 (ESV)  

I love this picture of friendship. I think it's so beautiful and selfless... I think this is the picture of "community" that I'm holding onto, and as much as I desire to have that community surrounding me, I also desire to be that kind of community for someone else. I think that is what God is calling me to be right now — a friend. A friend who goes out of his/her way to sympathize and comfort... A friend who weeps and laments with them and sits with them all because they simply see the hurt and see the need.

I think God wants me to experience that comfort and intimacy, and he also wants to use me to be that comfort and intimacy for someone else. And although a role of a friend was always challenging for me to uphold in the past, I think the Lord has really been opening my eyes and softening my heart to see the hurt and the need of others... I want to learn how to love others, regardless of my comfort, but so that they may know the comfort of knowing Jesus.

May I learn to be a friend, as Jesus was a friend first to me.

One of my favorite aspects about journaling is that afterwards, you are left with a collection of all your old thoughts, agendas, and insights. Our ability to retain information and memories is slimmer than we'd like to believe, and a record of old words serve as a time portal back into the yesterday's. Past journals offer perspective: a better understanding of where you are going and an attitude of thankfulness for how you have gotten there.

I looked back at all my journal entires of July on the train one day, and I was shocked of how eventful the month was without even realizing it. As I knew it, another month had just came and went. Weekends seemed too quick and workdays were too long, but as I read through my prayers and recollections, I was reminded of both little and big things that had taken place. I was filled with thankfulness and inspiration. It was cool. (:

Here is a peek at some of my journal entries: (click to enlarge)



If you don't journal already, I encourage you try it for the month of August! If you have ever asked yourself if God's hand is  present in your life, this might help you. Journaling forces you to slow down, and in those moments of reflections is when God's presence is evident.  You see the promises the Lord has declared over you, and how they are personally manifesting in your life! God is always, always working, slow down or you might miss it.

Journal about anything and everything. (: Talk about the highlights of your days and your weeks, and even vent about the worries that consume your heart. Share your blessings and express your wishes. God hears all of it. I believe that putting language to your emotions has the ability to pull them from the depths and hidden corners of your heart, onto the surface where it's accessible to be touched, processed, and communicated. And when you are able to communicate it with yourself, you are more able to communicate them with God.

Good luck! (:
I'd love to hear your journaling adventures, please share below.

God didn't have to create a world that was so beautiful.

He didn't have to use so many colors and even different shades of those colors. There's turquoise, sapphire, iris, cobalt, violet, teal — and those are just in the blue family. He didn't have to make the sun so bright and radiant that it warms the entire earth and makes the water  sparkle. He didn't have to create a whole new world under that water with sea animals and  vegetation; and in order to witness, we must hold our breath and bring ourselves beneath the surface. He didn't have to make birds sing pleasant melodies and penguins wear chic tuxedos and flowers smell the way they do.

But He did.

He made the world so beautiful that it inspires and awes people daily. He made sunsets so captivating it makes people want to fall in love, and he made starry nights so stunning people spent their lives chasing after that exact scene. He didn't have to, but he did.

And I think that says something about our God. Something indeed.

And you know what is even MORE fascinating?

"The same hands that created all of this, they created you and I. What a beautiful God."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-mBaEZ_zb30

[ exodus and leviticus ]

Since last month, I've been going through the OT. Started in Genesis, now I'm almost done with Numbers. (< to be read as "started from the bottom, now we here). Just kidding. I mentioned in an earlier post that I was learning a lot and I decided to share what the Lord is revealing to me as I read each book. Starting with exodus and leviticus. (:

in a nut shell: (exodus) God declares the ten commandments as well as a very extensive code of conduct by which the people must obtain in order to keep the promise land pure and pleasing to Him. (leviticus) God explains the practices and rituals that must occur in order to abstain from and compensate sin. And the harsh consequences if they were to disobey. And boy, there's a lot.

After reading 7+ chapters a day about which part of the animal is pleasing to the Lord, how many times to flicker blood at a curtain, and the specifics of what a robe should look like, I was EXHAUSTED. Exhausted and exhausted — and pretty bored. There are several instances when God strikes down people because they disobey, and each time I read that, I make a face. "No, my God would never do that..." I got this impression that God was petty and difficult, and I didn't see why this was relevant to me. So, I wrestled... and wrestled, and wrestled. I would read, wrestle, read, wrestle. Rinse and repeat. (I could have just said I wrestled a lot, but I didn't think that quite hit the mark of what this wrestling looked like.)

Then I realized I was asking myself the question: is sin really THAT big of a deal? Is it that bad that God would just cold knock out people... because of a, because of a technicality foul? And I think the moment that phrase formed into a complete sentence and left my mouth, I knew my answer. And I knew why I couldn't see the relevance. And I knew I needed to repent.

Reading those chapters was exhausting because God exhausted every code of conduct and ritual... because sin WAS that much of a big deal. It was so much of a big deal that He needed to send his only son to save us all from it. And I didn't see that.

If you're like me, then at the first glance (and maybe the second and third, too) the OT seems outdated and stale. And you're right, your walk and growth is not of the OT, but it is certainly not void of it. In order to appreciate and understand Jesus' crucifixion, and why the grace came out of it is so sweet, you need to know what it looked like before grace. How can you call news good when you don't know what news bad looks like?

And this, this is surely good news.

A friend of mine once painted this illustration about a baby eating really good food. Let's call the food steak because I really like steak. Sure, the baby can enjoy the steak (because it's steak, and who doesn't enjoy steak), but the baby doesn't know just quite how GOOD that steak is, because he hasn't acquired a palette to appreciate and discern yet.

In a similar way, I am like that baby. I live and walk in grace, but do I fully know what that costed? Am I thankful for freedom because I "like" it the way the baby likes steak, or am I thankful because I understand what I am free from? God struck down those people in the OT because He HATED sin. And God is a God who doesn't change, He STILL hates sin. But what did change was that He didn't want us to just compensate and cover our sin with sacrifices and practices, but He sacrificed his son so that he could cleanse our sin. Once and for all. Now God looks at me (and you!) and sees someone pleasing to His eye.

Each day, the gospel is meaning a little something different for me. I pray daily that the cross will be relevant and real, and not just in my faith and growth in an arbitrary way, but specifically and exactly for what THAT day entails. Both the little and big.

More gospel, please.

Lately, God has been revealing that there is greater joy in loving others than there is in loving myself. I realize how much time and energy I spend on protecting myself — my image, emotions, reputation, pride, comfort level, etc. And the more time I spend on looking at myself, the less I can see others around me. But if I have faith and believe that my God is a God who protects and provides for me, then there is no need to be worrying about myself at all. Now suddenly I have so much more time to see others, help others, love others...

God said HE IS LOVE. And so if love is the language he understands and embodies, the more I love, the more I understand and know that God, too. Thank you, God, for loving me first, so that I can accept, feel, share, and learn more about love a little bit more each day.

I have a thing for Starbucks. (Or have you not noticed?) And as an advertising major, I always stayed comfortable with the reason for that affinity being its excellent advertising. It must be. 

And I still do think it kind of totally is. I mean it did completely change coffee culture in America. To not only get people to like the drink in the cup, but be proud for holding that cup in their hand, and creating this habit of staying in the store. It became not only a coffee shop, but a living room, an office space, a hang out. And that's what all brands around the world spend millions and millions of dollars each year trying to achieve. To mean something and be able to express it in words and images and share this idea to the people. And then the hardest part? Be so real that they believe it. 

And hey, Starbucks did it. It  means something more than caffeine and it has become so interlaced with my own life that I'll drop +$4 on one cup and post a pic on Instagram for the 90th time.

For me, Starbucks is the place where Jesus and I meet and have our best conversations. Lessons learned, healing found, truths exposed. Some small, some big. Both always mattered.

And today, I'm pretending I'm at Starbucks. I'm sitting at my kitchen table -- something I rarely do because my roommate and I are barbarians who like to eat our meals on the couch with feet up and tv on.

But right now I'm sitting here. Headphones plugged in, a cup of coffee in hand, and the Word opened in front of me.

Why? Like I said. This post is not about Starbucks. Not at its core anyway.

It's about Jesus. And how important it is to be taking care of that relationship with him.

In Italy, it's been hard to find that intimacy with Jesus. I stayed in bathrooms, laid in bed, and I told myself it didn't matter the location of my quiet time. Which is entirely true, because one more reason why our God is so great is that he is with us at all times. But the flip side of that same coin is that since we are conditional and physical people, the location of the quiet time CAN matter... If the room is noisy, our ears will listen for people's voices rather than the Lord's. If our bellies are empty or eyelids are heavy, our limited concentration will take us towards dreams of food and sleep, not his Kingdom. Because I am a very conditional and limited person, because I am human, I can't turn my worrisome and anxious heart off with the flip of a switch.

Even though God is with us at all times and we can squeeze in prayers on our walks to school or on the train, He is also our King and not only deserves, but COMMANDS our full attention. And sometimes we can't reach so deep on the train or in the supermarket. Jesus went to the mountain to have his intimate moments — maybe your mountain top is a private room, getting on your knees, prepping with a worship song, lights turned off. Whatever it is, coming back to the heart of worship is absolutely needed.

For me, dates with Jesus at Starbucks worked for us. And today, I woke up and my soul was CRAVING a date with him. And so as silly and stupid as I felt, I put myself in a position where I knew my eyes and ears and heart and mind would be at His fullest attention. So it's not about Starbucks, it's about finding a way to give Him your fullest and undivided attention.

A cup of coffee is just a plus. (;

"Let us acknowledge the Lord; let us press on to acknowledge him. As surely as the sun rises, he will appear; he will come to us like the winter rains, like the spring rains that water the earth." — Hosea 6:3

The Lord truly does answer those who call on Him. I've been searching for truth the past few days,  and the Lord found me in my bitterness and replaced anxiety with a stable ground for my feet to walk on. And for that, I am overwhelmed with thankfulness. I am walking with confidence now— not in my own ability, but in His promise and sovereignty.

Such appropriate news for this time. Finals are approaching and I feel so mentally checked out. But it's time to bring my A game. It's time to persevere.

Good luck to everyone with finals! (:
Remember that you are not consumed, the Lord's compassion never fails.

Just this weekend, our church hosted the annual revival— one weekend of the semester, during midterms, to provide a "retreat" for students. Personally, I was so out of it. Both my head and heart were at such different places that it was hard to just rest during the time of (services, worship, prayer time, etc). I just wanted to lay in my bed, shut my brain off, and watch tv, to be honest. ha. I told you, I'm addicted.

But one thing that I was convicted with and I want to hold onto is that I've become so consumed with being successful and all the means to the end have become a distraction to my walk with God. Being successful and diligent started out as my worship to Him; but along the way, my own selfish desires took over and anxiety grew to its peak. And I grew so consumed that I couldn't even realize that these things were getting in the way of my relationship with God. God says he has big plans for me, and me trying to find identity in my success isn't one of them. when did i become so desperate to be someone. when did i become so desperate to be successful. god desperately wants to give me peace and fulfillment and i'm not letting him. this was a rude awakening. my heart has grown so attached to this worldly measure that i can't even let it go. but i have to, sooner or later.

This is a response to an article I wrote last week tying to this same topic:

This school semester has been very productive and rewarding, but it’s also been filled with anxiety and restlessness. I know the Lord has so graciously opened all these doors for me, but I’ve received all them with self-sufficient and ungrateful hands. I try the best I can in every facet of my life, but there’s no fruit or power present because I’m not dependent on the Lord. I think the author phrases it best when he describes the cause of weariness and burn outs to come “from our inner compulsions coupled with the pressure of circumstance,” not from the Lord. I strain myself to point of exhaustion telling myself that quality time with my God can be pushed back, that I can run off old gas. And I forget that the work itself is neither worship nor pleasing when I try to do it alone. Society tells me independence is an admirable quality, and I so blindly obey. But really, it’s not independence; it’s slavery to the tyranny of the urgent. The author touches upon the fact that since the enemy knows how precious and crucial it is for us to have that personal time with the Lord, he will do anything to keep us away from it. This was a wake up call; how could I forget that in the busiest of times that Satan will try to destroy my relationship with the Lord as well as my effectiveness as I try to build up His kingdom? I just felt so dumb realizing how consumed I was with myself; Jesus was busier than I was but in the midst, he found peace   because each morning he went and prayed. This convicted me to make prayer a priority; P.T. Forsyth said, “the worst sin is prayerlessness,” and I’ve been committing the worst sin of all. Reading the word is not enough, and it’s no wonder there’s a lack of strength present in my life; I need sufficient quality time with the Lord and I need his strength and provision.