Coffee & Honeycomb: revival

Thursday, October 24, 2013

This past weekend, our church hosted its annual Revival, a 3-day event strategically placed mid-way through the semester, to open up a space and time for students to be revived and refueled. It's filled with sermons, prayer, and worship. It's a grand time. (:

This year was my fourth one. It is also my last one as a student, and my favorite one.

The sermon from the first night really struck a chord with me and reminded me of this series so I wanted to share a bit about it here. The speaker, Reverend Charlie Dates, spoke on Geneses 32, when Jacob wrestles with God... Genesis 32 begins when Jacob is in the middle of the night hiding from enemies and running away. We meet him sending off his family across a river.

Verses 23 and 24 read, "...he sent over all his possessions. So Jacob was left alone..."

Reverend Charlie Dates pointed out this redundancy as a literary device to emphasize the state of Jacob at this time. He was stripped away of all his physical comforts, his possessions, as well as his emotional and relational support. Jacob is stripped, empty-handed, and alone. At this moment, is when God chooses to meet him and wrestle with him.

The text says they wrestle until daybreak and as God tries to end it, Jacob holds on and says one of most profound and telling requests.

He says, "I will not let you go unless you bless me."

When we are stripped away of everything, our innate need and deepest cry of our heart reveals itself — to be blessed by God, to be seen by God. Can I say that again? When we are apart from all the comforts and securities this world can offer us, it is at THAT moment our true and real and personal need and desire is to the surface. To be blessed by God. To be seen by God.

And isn't this what we've been talking about this whole month? I had never read this passage this way, and that particular point cut away at me just as the Word should. I felt so known and understood and rebuked, too. My whole life pattern has been to maximize comfort, maximize security... meanwhile stifling the voice and power of God.

In this passage, God reminds me that He meets me when I am stripped away of everything. That he must take everything in order to give me everything. I want to learn how to daily take everything so tender to my heart and lay it before Him at His feet... ready to be filled with more of Him. More of Him.

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Just this weekend, our church hosted the annual revival— one weekend of the semester, during midterms, to provide a "retreat" for students. Personally, I was so out of it. Both my head and heart were at such different places that it was hard to just rest during the time of (services, worship, prayer time, etc). I just wanted to lay in my bed, shut my brain off, and watch tv, to be honest. ha. I told you, I'm addicted.

But one thing that I was convicted with and I want to hold onto is that I've become so consumed with being successful and all the means to the end have become a distraction to my walk with God. Being successful and diligent started out as my worship to Him; but along the way, my own selfish desires took over and anxiety grew to its peak. And I grew so consumed that I couldn't even realize that these things were getting in the way of my relationship with God. God says he has big plans for me, and me trying to find identity in my success isn't one of them. when did i become so desperate to be someone. when did i become so desperate to be successful. god desperately wants to give me peace and fulfillment and i'm not letting him. this was a rude awakening. my heart has grown so attached to this worldly measure that i can't even let it go. but i have to, sooner or later.

This is a response to an article I wrote last week tying to this same topic:

This school semester has been very productive and rewarding, but it’s also been filled with anxiety and restlessness. I know the Lord has so graciously opened all these doors for me, but I’ve received all them with self-sufficient and ungrateful hands. I try the best I can in every facet of my life, but there’s no fruit or power present because I’m not dependent on the Lord. I think the author phrases it best when he describes the cause of weariness and burn outs to come “from our inner compulsions coupled with the pressure of circumstance,” not from the Lord. I strain myself to point of exhaustion telling myself that quality time with my God can be pushed back, that I can run off old gas. And I forget that the work itself is neither worship nor pleasing when I try to do it alone. Society tells me independence is an admirable quality, and I so blindly obey. But really, it’s not independence; it’s slavery to the tyranny of the urgent. The author touches upon the fact that since the enemy knows how precious and crucial it is for us to have that personal time with the Lord, he will do anything to keep us away from it. This was a wake up call; how could I forget that in the busiest of times that Satan will try to destroy my relationship with the Lord as well as my effectiveness as I try to build up His kingdom? I just felt so dumb realizing how consumed I was with myself; Jesus was busier than I was but in the midst, he found peace because each morning he went and prayed. This convicted me to make prayer a priority; P.T. Forsyth said, “the worst sin is prayerlessness,” and I’ve been committing the worst sin of all. Reading the word is not enough, and it’s no wonder there’s a lack of strength present in my life; I need sufficient quality time with the Lord and I need his strength and provision.

Coffee & Honeycomb

Pages

DAY 23 : I WILL NOT GO UNLESS YOU BLESS ME

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Revival Conviction

Sunday, October 21, 2012