Verona 101

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Everything you need to know about Verona begins now:

Toilet flushers are never in places you would expect them to be NOR do they look like anything a flusher should look like. So now when I use the bathroom, I ask myself, "where is the most illogical place a flusher could be?" And viola! A flusher appears.

Example: (Try to guess where the flusher is).


^ That metal square at the top.


^ That odd string hanging from the right.

And turning on the sink is no exception, either.



^ To turn on the water, there's a random peddle under the sink you have to press. In the case that you cannot read Italian or just ignore the writing on the wall mistaking it for vandalism, it will take you a few minutes to figure it out.

Everyone wears fur. The kids wear fur, the moms wear fur, the old ladies wear fur, even the dogs wear fur. Should I buy something with fur? Yes or no.

Speaking of dogs, they're allowed everywhere. In shops, in grocery stores, etc. That one's for you, Mom. (;

No one is fat. Not a single human being. Which is something I don't really understand after all that vino and carbs, but at the same time, no one is muscular. Aka skinny fat.

Also, the entire living situation in Verona is accommodated for skinny fat people.


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^ This is the odd, futuristic entrance-way, almost like a revolving door, to enter a bank. The space everywhere is suffocating — in elevators, sidewalks, roads, showers, etc. I'm not sure if people were all skinny, so they miniaturized everything, or everything was first miniature that people started shrinking to fit. It's one of those tricky "what came first, the chicken or the egg?" situations.

Everything is BEAUTIFUL. That's why this gelato store is named pretty.


Just kidding.

When the road is winding around the corner, cobblestones look like loose teeth.


Spoons are in the shape of mini shovels. The perfect utensils to scoop out gelato.

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Preggo in Italian = You're Welcome or Go ahead

All the meat looks and tastes like skin.

No one drinks the kind of coffee that we are familiar with in America. Coffee is pretty much limited to the form of an espresso shot served in a cute little cup with a packet of sugar.

Wine is cheaper than any other non-alcoholic drink. It is LITERALLY so cheap. A bottle of Moscato? 1 euro. But it makes sense. Verona is the largest producing wine city in ze world.

Everyone drinks fizzy water. Aka frizzante. It's gross and I hate it. I hated tonic in America, and I also hate it in Italy. :/

Every single man is attractive.

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Napkins also serve as oil blotters.

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And I will leave you with this beautiful imagery of the oil from my face.

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